Lovely sunset

Lovely sunset

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Just Take 100 Steps

  Teacher's Write  7.2.16
          For the past three summers I have signed up to be part of the Teacher's Write  summer online writing community. Each year I have created some pieces of writing that I had no idea were inside of me. All credit goes to the wonderful guest authors who provide the encouragement and ideas for the creativity to happen. 

          This past week the prompt was to take 100 steps and simply write about what you see. I did that, stepping down off my back deck and walking to the corner of my back yard. I jotted some notes into a tiny notebook -- that had been part of the first day's writing about using notebooks all the time to capture important moments you may use later in your writing. I discovered that notebook was too darn small that day but, nonetheless, used it to record what I saw. Initially, I was doubtful. All I saw was my backyard. Then I started to look a bit more closely. I started to really see what was there. So I jotted down some notes
and decided to just trust the process. Once I was done, I returned to my computer to type up what I had just seen in my 100 steps. I ended up with the following passage.



100 steps took me to the northwest corner of my backyard. I looked around wondering what I might find to write about. It is a very typical suburban yard but as I stood there I began to really see. Along the hedgerow is a line of mature cherry trees that my family has picked for years. For the lawn mower driver the trees provide a juicy snack on a sweaty-hot, summer day. Today they are droopy with fruit seemingly waiting arms outstretched for that next sampler. Among the cherry trees is a silver maple interloper holding a double-decker tree house built painstakingly years ago by a tag team of boys.
The raggedy board ladder tacked onto the trunk has gaps and tips this way and that but remains for the next courageous climber to give it a try. In the northeastern corner are weathered tree trunk stools ringing the cement brick fire pit stacked high with crispy, dry brush ready for the matches, s\’mores, and song. Closer to the house is the silver and black trampoline, a few poles needing to be attached before jumpers can safely begin bouncing. The trampoline shadows the garden plot waiting for its plants. Just past the blueberry bushes, next to the raspberry plants is the grape arbor
with the determined leaves creeping steadily over the top and back down to the ground under which the grapes will appear in a few months. Looking out past our yard to the north is a smart, tidy cemetery.
My parents\’ gravestone marker looks back at me from its corner plot by the American flag reminding me I should drop by for a visit. If you have time. 100 steps to the north brings me to thoughts of happier times and sadder times, of faces I haven\’t seen in so long. George and Nancy. 100 steps


 I shared it with my colleague, Andrea Page (soon to published author -- yea!!!  Sioux CodeTalkers of WWII). She, as always, was very supportive and encouraging. I remarked to her that it seemed more like a poem than anything else and she suggested I work on it to make it a poem much like I teach my students to do. I chuckled because she sometimes knows me better than I do.I model a method of poem writing after a Nancy Atwell conference I attended many years ago. My "poetry haters" generally find some comfort in it. I ask them if they think they can write a paragraph which they, of course, (sensing this is a trick) reply yes to. There is much more to it but basically they choose a topic to write a paragraph about and then I show them how to turn that paragraph into a poem. So that is what I did.

Step # 2: Write each sentence as a line of prose.

Along the hedgerow is a line of mature cherry trees that my family has picked for years.
For the lawn mower driver the trees provide a juicy snack on a sweaty-hot, summer day.
Today they are droopy with fruit seemingly waiting arms outstretched for that next sampler.
Among the cherry trees is a silver maple interloper holding a double-decker tree house built painstakingly years ago by a tag team of boys.
The raggedy board ladder tacked onto the trunk has gaps and tips this way and that but remains for the next courageous climber to give it a try
In the northeastern corner are weathered tree trunk stools ringing the cement brick fire pit stacked high with crispy, dry brush ready for the matches, s\’mores, and song
Closer to the house is the silver and black trampoline, a few poles needing to be attached before jumpers can safely begin bouncing.
The trampoline shadows the garden plot waiting for its plants.
Just past the blueberry bushes, next to the raspberry plants is the grape arbor with the determined leaves creeping steadily over the top and back down to the ground under which the grapes will appear in a few months
Looking out past our yard to the north is a smart, tidy cemetery
My parents\’ gravestone marker looks back at me from its corner plot by the American flag reminding me I should drop by for a visit
If you have time.
100 steps to the north brings me to thoughts of happier times and sadder times, of faces I haven\’t seen in so long.
George and Nancy
100 steps

Step #3: Cross out, remove any unnecessary words. Rearrange phrases. Add sensory details. Make it look like a poem. Use mentor poetry books for ideas!
100 Steps
"If you have time"
mature cherry tree hedgerow
 juicy snacks  on sweaty-hot, days for the lawn mower driver
to snag on the way by
droopy fruity outstretched arms for that next sampler

"When you have time"
Among the cherry trees a silver maple interloper
double-decker tree house
built painstakingly by a tag team of boys.
raggedy board ladder tacked onto the trunk
gapped and tippy
this way and that
for the next courageous climber to try

"Sometime"
weathered tree trunk stools
ring the cement brick fire pit
stacked high with crispy, dry brush
ready for the matches, s’mores, song

"If you have time"
shimmery silver black trampoline poles
needing to be attached
before jumpers may bounce

"When you have time"
shadowy still garden plot
waits plants
weedy, prickly ,patient

"Sometime soon"
blueberry bushes blooming
raspberry plants ripening
grape arbor's
determined leaves creeping steadily
over the top and back down
September grapes

"If you have time."
north- a smart, tidy cemetery
American flag waving
My parents’ gravestone marker
looks back
reminding me
I should drop by for a visit

"Make  time."
100 steps to
 happier times
sadder times                       
faces I haven’t seen in so long
voices I strain to hear
George and Nancy
100 steps
"If you have time."
Step #4: Revise, Revise, Revise! Here is my final draft. I hope you like it.

100 Steps by Gretchen Breon

If you have time
mature cherry tree hedgerow
sweaty-hot days' juicy snacks
"Oh,never mind those worms-they won't hurt ya!"
to snag on the way by
"Friends share, you know."
droopy, fruity outstretched arms

Anytime
a silver maple interloper
double-decker tree house
raggedy scrap board ladder tacked onto the trunk
big gaps and tippy this way and that
"Yes, I do believe you might see to the lake!"
for the next courageous climbers

Sometime
weathered tree trunk stools ring the cement brick fire pit
"Big fires-sit back, small fires-sit close!"
stacked high with crispy, dry brush
ready for the matches, s’mores,
guitars and ukulele songs off key loud
If you have time
shimmery silver black trampoline poles
needing to be attached
"Sure that's safe?"
before jumpers may bounce
When you have time
shadowy still garden plot
weedy, prickly, patient
waits plants
"Did you get the onions in yet?"
tomatoes for sauce, zucchini for bread
Sometime soon
blueberry bushes blooming
raspberry plants ripening
"Need some jam jars?"
grape arbor's
determined leaves creeping steadily
over the top and back down
September grapes
If you have time
north- a smart, tidy cemetery
so quiet
American flag waving
their gravestone marker looks back
reminding me
I should drop by for a visit

Make  time
100 steps to
faces I haven’t seen in so long
"Hey, High Riga, stop by
when you get a chance"
Voices I strain to hear again
"Hey, give us a call
when you get a sec"

Take the time




Thanks for taking a peek.